Love...how do you show it?

I received the following message via a listserv that I am a member of. It is a great reminder that we need to show our love for others not through materials things, but our day to day interactions with each other.

With Valentine's Day coming up this weekend, I thought this would be a good time to address "love." How do you say, "I love you" to someone you care about? How do you express your feelings of love and affection to your spouse and other family members? Florists would like us to believe that we should "say it with flowers," but I think there are better ways.

For instance: If you love me, compliment me often for jobs well done and don't downgrade me, but rather reassure me when I fail.

If you love me, listen to what I have to say without judging me, or feeling like you have to solve all my problems.

If you love me, let me know when you feel low or lonely or misunderstood. It will make me stronger to know I have the power to comfort you.

If you love me, respect my silences. Alternatives for my problems, creativity and spirituality often come in times of quiet.

And, finally, if you love me, tell me so often, through your talk, your actions and your gestures.

Don't assume that I know it. Even if I act embarrassed or deny that I need it, don't believe me. Do it anyway. It is these things done consistently and consciously over the years that help build a loving relationship and keep it growing. And, it is the absence of these things that rob life of its joy.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
www.thepacificinstitute.com